This doesn’t mean you should put a fake smile on your face if you’re really not feeling it. However, you should try to cultivate a positive attitude by focusing on the things that make you happy in conversation, instead of complaining about every little thing that goes wrong. Even if you’re by yourself or about to take a math test, try to look on the bright side and to keep a smile on your face. Not every moment of your life will be a sheer joy, but you can think about something that you’re looking forward to later when you’re struggling to stay positive. If you’re just walking to class by yourself, you don’t need to do it with a dopey grin on your face, but you should avoid frowning, looking bored as you search through your cell phone, or generally looking disengaged. If you avoid distractions and stare ahead with a happy, or at least neutral look on your face, then the boy is more likely to notice you.
Another way to have confident body language is to avoid fidgeting as much as you can. Try to avoid biting your nails, playing with the bottom of your shirt or your hair, or anything else that will make you look nervous. When you’re standing in a group of people, try to stand tall instead of shrinking back so you get noticed and feel comfortable.
If you’re feeling shy about this, you can give him a quick smile and then look away. You don’t have to look too eager – the goal is to look friendly and approachable so he notices you and wants to get to know who you are.
Avoid bragging about the things you’re good at. Instead, just talk about how much you love to paint, write poetry, do gymnastics, or pursue one of your other hobbies, and he’ll see that you’re passionate about it. Don’t stand out just for the sake of standing out. Dying your hair pink isn’t a good idea if all you want to do is to get his attention; however, if you really do want pink hair, then go for it! Remember that if you’re doing something just for the sake of attention, he will be able to tell.
Whether you want to say hi or even feel ready to tell him you like him, you should talk to him on your own. He’ll be impressed by this and will want to get to know you. Having your friends write notes to the boy, or even writing them yourself, also makes it look like you’re afraid to talk to him yourself. Instead, just take a deep breath and talk to him face to face.
Don’t put yourself down in front of him. Instead, focus on the good aspects of yourself – without bragging. Being down on yourself just puts the boy in an awkward position, and you want him to feel comfortable, and to not feel like you need him there to feel good about yourself. It’s okay if you’re feeling a little nervous about talking to him. If you stutter, forget what you were going to say, or find yourself rambling on about nothing, make sure you’re able to laugh at yourself a little and to brush it off. It’s okay if he doesn’t think you’re the smoothest person in the world; what’s important is that he sees that you’re comfortable with yourself. When you talk about other girls, stick to the things you like about them. Nothing will make you look insecure faster than putting down other girls.
Everyone has a reputation to uphold. If you’re known for being a snob, then the boy will hear about it. Instead, be genuinely nice to people so you’re open to more friendships and experiences. You don’t have to be super outgoing to do this, either. Just saying hi to people and asking how their day is going can go a long way in helping you make friends and to come off like a nice person. If you hang out in circles where girls tend to gossip a lot of to be mean to each other, then ask yourself if it’s time for a friend spring-cleaning. Even if you’re not the one being mean, it’s no fun to be associated with people who are being cruel.
What he did over the weekend His plans for the summer or upcoming holidays His pets His favorite bands, TV shows, movies, or books His hobbies and interests
One way to avoid coming on too strong is to avoid texting him or checking in on him all the time. You can check in with him to say hi, but don’t make it seem like all you do is think about him when you’re not together.
If you’re in a group, pay more attention to him than the other boys, but don’t stick by his side the whole time. He should take the first step and come to you, sometimes. Don’t give him the same compliments you might give someone else. Let him see that he really does stand out to you.
A favorite sports team A favorite TV show or movie A favorite band Favorite video games Pets Friends in common Favorite hobbies
Remember that it should work both ways; you should listen to him just as much as he listens to you. Pay attention to what he tells you so you can follow up about it later. If he tells you he has a big baseball game this weekend, for example, you can ask him how it went on Monday. This shows that you’re keeping track of the things that he tells you and that it means something to you.
If other people around you are gossiping, just excuse yourself or even offer a different opinion. You don’t want to look like a follower. Boys tend to hate drama. If you gossip in front of the boy, he’ll think that you’re the kind of girl who likes to bring on the drama, and he most likely will want to back off.
If a boy is pressuring you to do something before you’re ready, calmly tell him that you’re just not interested. Hold your head high and don’t let him get to you. You’ll feel much better in the long run.
It shouldn’t be hard for you to burst into laughter. Don’t hold back if something is funny and show that you’re really having a great time. One way to be a fun person is to know how to make people feel at ease. Make eye contact with people, ask them easy questions about themselves, and introduce them to each other if they don’t know each other. Make them feel at home, and they’ll be more relaxed and more likely to have fun.
If his friends are jerks, then you don’t have to entertain them just for the sake of impressing him. But if they’re nice guys, then you should try to be nice, too, even if you don’t have all that much in common. Don’t be frustrated if this takes a bit of work. It’s only natural that a lot of girls and guys aren’t super comfortable with talking to each other yet.
Your friends will always be there for you, no matter what, while it can be a different story when it comes to guys. Don’t be the girl who drops her friends to hang out with a boy and then has to come crawling back to them when the relationship is over. Doing the things you love to do, from playing piano to drawing, makes you who you are. If you stop doing those things for a boy, then you’re giving up a part of yourself. If you and the boy really like spending time together, then you can include him in some of your favorite interests, such as watching a show you like together.
If he told you he has a big basketball tournament this weekend, send him a quick text the next day to see how it went. But don’t try to text him right before the game or he’ll feel a bit overwhelmed. This is where playing hard to get comes in. You want to check in enough to show that you care, but not so much that he thinks you’re spending a lot of time thinking about him.
The more relaxed you are about getting a boy to like you, the happier you’ll feel because you won’t be putting pressure on yourself. It’s important to enjoy your life instead of fretting over getting boys to like you too much. In the end, the right boy will come along and sweep you off your feet.
