Even if you feel wronged by your friend, consider the possibility that somewhere along the line you have also hurt them in subtle ways that you weren’t aware of. On the other hand, if you know you’re the one who made a mistake, spend some time reflecting on what you did and why, and how you can prevent doing it again.
That said, you may need to have a long talk with your friend before the wounds start to heal. The important thing is to make sure you feel ready and willing to put things back together, rather than nurse a grudge. Your friend may not listen at first, but with time and you showing that you care, they will forgive.
For example, if you’ve been ignoring your friend because you’re spending all your time with a new love interest, it isn’t appropriate to apologize for spending time with this other person. Instead, talk about how you’re sorry you haven’t been making time for your friend.
If you ask to meet, try to avoid vague phrases like, “We need to talk. " These can put your friend on the defensive. Instead, try a more emotionally rooted approach like, “I miss you,” or “I was just hoping we could spend a little time together. “[3] X Research source
Again, avoid one-liners like, “Let’s bury the hatchet” - such contrived phrases might put your friend on guard. [4] X Research source
They may need a cue from you, like “I’m sure I made you feel pretty awful,” or “I’d love to be friends again. Do you think that’s possible?"[6] X Research source Listen without interrupting, even if what they say triggers certain responses in you.
This is especially important to keep in mind if you don’t receive a positive response at first. In a few weeks or months, your friend may still come around. [7] X Research source It may be difficult to take a step back from your friendship, but it may be necessary for your friendship to heal.
For example, maybe you’ll agree to be a better listener and your friend will agree not criticize you so much. [9] X Research source This doesn’t mean, however, that you should make drastic changes to yourself to please your friend. If your friend makes demands you’re uncomfortable with, you need to consider whether this is really a healthy friendship based on love and mutual respect.
