If you talk to your friend and he or she doesn’t understand why you or others find his or her odor offensive, respect your friend’s feelings and don’t get angry. Just explain things so that your friend can understand.
It might be best to talk to your friend at the end of the day. [5] X Research source That way, he or she will have time to go home and be more prepared for the next day. On the other hand, you might talk to your friend at the beginning of the day, so that the problem is taken care of early. This can work especially well if you can offer a quick solution to help your friend, like deodorant or body spray.
If you can’t talk to your friend in complete privacy, at least pull him or her aside where others can’t hear, and don’t draw attention to yourselves. You might consider sending an anonymous email to your friend about the problem, if you really aren’t able to talk to him or her. However, this might not work well; your friend might think the email is a prank, for instance, or he or she might feel anxious about who sent it. The best option is usually just to talk face-to-face with your friend.
Try something like: “Your hair looks great today! But you know, there’s something else I’ve noticed. I wonder if your deodorant’s not working right…. ” You can also try the “positive sandwich” method, where you say something nice first, then break the bad news, then end by saying something encouraging again. After telling your friend about the odor problem, say something like “it should be really easy to take care of,” or offer another compliment.
Sometimes saying less is more. You don’t have to give a long explanation or beat around the bush. Just be clear to your friend about the problem and he or she should get it. You could start off by saying “I just want to give you a heads up. . . " or “You may not know this. . . “[12] X Expert Source Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Bad breath could be caused by certain foods, such as garlic. [13] X Research source Food odors might also linger on clothing. Try saying something like: “Wow, that pizza must have been heavy on the garlic, because I can kind of smell it on you. When that happens to me, I make sure to wear X kind of deodorant. ” Synthetic fabrics like nylon can retain moisture and odor more than natural fibers like cotton and wool. [14] X Research source [15] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source If your friend is wearing synthetic fabrics, mention the odor problem and say that it happens to you when you wear fabrics like that unless you wash them frequently, wear plenty of deodorant, etc. Many people are susceptible to body odor after hard physical labor, playing sports, or exercising. [16] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source Heat can cause people to sweat, which can contribute to body odor. Say the problem might be caused by the weather, if it is really hot and/or humid. Some people sweat more when they’re nervous. Suggest that maybe your friend is stressed about something, and that is causing sweating and an odor problem. Remember that certain illnesses and medications can cause body odor. Since health can be another sensitive issue, you might not want to discuss these causes as a possibility unless your friend brings it up first.
You can mention again that it has happened to you, too.
If the problem is caused by bad breath, you can offer mints or gum. [20] X Research source [21] X Expert Source Tami ClaytorEtiquette Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020. If the problem is caused by body odor, you can offer deodorant, by saying something like: “Hey, I’ve got some stuff with me that will help. ”[22] X Research source Alternatively, you can just mention a good type or brand for your friend to try, if you think that he or she wouldn’t react well to actually being handed deodorant or similar items. Offer to check how your friend smells in the future, since it can be hard to tell on one’s own. Let your friend know again that you won’t tell others, and stick to your word.
