If you often see the girl in public, whether at school or in the neighborhood, always greet her. [1] X Research source Small talk can be helpful in finding common interests. It’s also a nice way to connect on a person-to-person basis before jumping into the “dating talk. " This all shouldn’t be as daunting as you think it is; just be yourself and prove that you’re interested in speaking with her.
If you enter the conversation with any sort of unnecessary arrogance, however, your chances will become slim. There’s a difference between being confident and assuming that she’s going to say yes. Don’t put on any extra swagger; the honesty of your directness will be more than enough to bolster your chances.
If you have mutual friends with her already, make sure that you don’t allow their opinions to inform your ideas about the relationship. There’s no way that they can understand exactly what you’re going through. Even if their opinions are valid, you and her will know best if things are starting to work.
While physical compliments can certainly work, it might benefit you to compliment some positive behavior that you’ve seen her perform. If you’ve noticed her compassion toward others, try telling her that. It’s very difficult to fall flat if you’re speaking honestly to someone about their character or moral compass.
Not sure what she likes? Try asking about some of these topics[6] X Research source to make some headway in those discoveries. It’s important to ask plenty of questions about what she enjoys. You want to get to know this person quickly, and it’s tough to do that if you don’t do some proper investigation. If you’re not actually interested in what she’s speaking about, that’s a definite sign that you two aren’t compatible. You may find her attractive or have the desire to date another person, but if you have no common interests, your further contact will most likely be painful and awkward.
It’s good to be aware, from the beginning, if this girl seems independent enough to have a stable and steady relationship with you. [8] X Research source If it feels like she needs someone to talk to at all times, there’s a fear that she’ll become overly attached and unable to operate independently. Make sure that you both feel comfortable in yourself to be alone. If you’re both comfortable being alone, but just enjoy being with each other, you are setting yourself up for a more successful and healthy bond. The same things apply to your initial interest in a potential partner. Make sure that you are interested in them exclusively, not just interested in having a person in your life to support you or be kind to you. Your potential relationship will be much more authentic if you make sure it is founded within the other person, not some idea about them.
Make ample eye contact and smile. Use mild conversation fillers and sounds to dictate that you’re interested. “Mhmm” and “right” can be far more helpful then you might think. Ask open-ended questions to keep conversation flowing, This will prove that you’re not only listening, but that you’d like to hear more about whatever they’re currently speaking about. Don’t fidget with your hands or play with your clothes. These little distractions will make her think that you’re uninterested or unable to hold a steady conversation.
A song that you’ve spoken about. Say you’ll share it with her on Facebook. A bar or restaurant that one of you, or both, enjoy. Suggest that you go together, and use that open-ended plan to get her phone number. A great YouTube video that you’ve told her about. Everyone loves a good laugh, and you can send it to her and continue the conversation. Your shared love of a particular sports team or television show. Suggest that you go to a game together or watch the show together. Any of these options, and more, would work well, but if you don’t have any smooth transition, you can be totally transparent and simply ask for her number, saying that you’d love to meet up for coffee or dinner. She’ll probably really appreciate your directness.
It’s not helpful to spend too much time in the limbo between casual texting and setting the date up. Because you’ve already made a move toward a real, in-person date, don’t waste too much time and energy being clever on text. Be simple and direct. That way, you can get some quality face-to-face time. There are situations when you want to leave some space. If the girl isn’t positive about her weekend plans, and she tells you that she needs to figure out her schedule, don’t be too pushy. People have busy lives and need to plan around busy schedules. Try not to think about too hard about the science of texting or Facebook messaging. Just because she hasn’t responded in two hours doesn’t mean she’s uninterested. [13] X Research source She might even, like you, be a bit nervous about the date itself. Her anxiety may be keeping her from properly responding to the text, as she also doesn’t know exactly what to say.
