How To Get A Girlfriend When You Re Autistic With Pictures

One of the main features of people on the autistic spectrum is the “special interest” and it may be either easy or difficult to find somebody that shares your special interest. This gives you a built-in conversation starter that is a good foundation for a date. Try finding groups doing things you enjoy through websites like Meetup or by taking a local class. Think about social activities you already attend. Do you know anyone that you might be interested in developing a relationship? Think unconventionally. Social settings don’t have to be physical. Video games, like Minecraft, can be great ways to build community and meet people with similar interests without the pressure of face-to-face first interaction.

Watch television shows and movies to get an idea of these cues but know that these depictions aren’t always realistic. Make or feign eye contact for a few seconds, then break it. Try to notice if she seems to be making eye contact with you, as this may mean she likes you. Smile slightly. You should smile at the person you like, but make it a small smile, and turn away after a few seconds. Act confident. Even when you’re nervous about whether someone likes you, act like you aren’t nervous at all.

Ask your mentor what they look for in a partner. What are you doing that they would find odd on a date? What would they like? Tell them you appreciate their honesty. Appreciate your friends or mentors advice on how to get a girlfriend. It might help to keep a notebook of dating tips.

Know what you want in a relationship. Are you looking for something casual or long-term? Be clear about this with yourself so you know how to proceed. Different dating sites suit different needs. Decide what dating site is best for you. If you want, there are even websites that match up people on the autism spectrum who would be compatible with each other. This can be a good way to ease some of the stress of reading neurotypical dating cues.

Bathe regularly and trim your hair and facial hair (if you have any). Wear clothes that are clean, ironed, and well-fitting. Don’t be afraid to ask a fashion-conscious friend or family member to go shopping with you. They can pick out clothes that enhance your unique attractiveness.

Simply say something like “Hey would you like to go see a movie on Saturday?” Texting or online chat can be a great way to send your initial invitation. Ask your mentor to look over your message before you send it.

Don’t feel like you have to pick a typical first date if you don’t want to. [5] X Research source A bar might be too loud, and going to dinner might put too much pressure on small talk. Try an activity-based date. For example, if you like to bowl, invite your date to go bowling with you. When there are gaps in the conversation, you’ll be able to talk about your game. If you enjoy art, take her to an art museum. You’ll be able to talk about the art together, and the setting makes a little silence more acceptable. If you find somebody that shares your special interest, try setting up a date that is related to this special interest. Write down the plan for your date. Your date will most likely appreciate the initiative you took to plan it all out and find it romantic.

Ask open-ended questions, and if you ask yes or no questions, follow up with something open-ended. For example, if you ask, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” and she says, “Yes, two older brothers,” say something like, “Oh, what are they like?” When your date asks you questions, don’t be too short with your answers but don’t take over the conversation, either.

After she tells you her favorites, go home and check them out. Listen to her favorite song, or read her favorite book. This will give you a better idea of what she’s like, and give you something to talk about on a second date.

If you are anxious about being rejected, try coming up with a response in advance for rejection, such as saying “Okay, see you around then,” and walking away. [6] X Research source If you ask someone out online or with a written message, silence usually means “no. " Don’t respond further. Don’t give up after one rejection. Move on to someone else. Dating takes persistence. Being rejected just means that you two were a bad match. It doesn’t have anything bad to say about you.

Be prepared for a few awkward questions. Give honest, factual answers. Relationships are about both partners seeking to understand each other. Encourage your girlfriend to use online resources such as Autism Acceptance Month, the Autism Women’s Network, and WikiHow to find out more about the autism spectrum. Show her that you can be an attentive partner, but sometimes social situations take a lot of effort for you.

Ask your partner to honestly tell you what makes her uncomfortable and what she would like you not to do in the relationship. Likewise, tell your partner what makes you uncomfortable, as she might not be aware that you don’t like a small gesture from her. It might help you both to write these things down on a piece of paper or in a message. It can be easier to come up with boundaries in writing, and you’ll have them to refer back to later.

Understand when it is best to give a small “white lie” so as to not hurt your partner’s feelings. For example, if your girlfriend comes home with a new dress, puts it on, and asks you if it looks good, you should say, “yes,” even if you don’t think so. In this situation, don’t think of her question so much like she’s asking your opinion of her dress, but more like she’s happy in that dress and she’s inviting you to share in that happiness with her. Furthermore, understand that your partner won’t always be blunt with you. This doesn’t mean that you should tolerate blatant lies, but don’t demand that your partner tell you every detail of her life.

Try having a set of questions you always ask. This can be a sweet ritual for you as a couple and a good way to plan to stay in touch. It will make you both feel heard and valued. An example set of questions could be: What is something I did that made you happy this week? What is something I did that made you sad this week? What is something you would like us to do together next week?

Keep a list in your phone of things your girlfriend likes. If she says one day she likes peonies and a specific kind of chocolate, write it down. Every so often, check that list on your phone. Go out and buy her peonies and chocolate for no reason at all. Fill the list with details, especially at dates such as Valentine’s Day (February 14), their birthday, etc.

Your letters can be hard copies or emails. Write down the things you like about your partner and let her read those things.