A very simple “Hi, I’m. . . " will do. Try to sound as normal as possible. Talk to him as you would talk to someone you would like to befriend – seducing him will come later.
If you find out things he likes, you can bring up your shared interests in casual conversation. That way, he’ll know that you have things in common and he’ll begin to think about doing some of those things together. For example, if you find out that he likes to play golf, casually mention your trip to the range with your dad last weekend. Additionally, if you get a guy talking about something they are passionate about, they’ll feel good about it and later relate those positive feelings back to their experience with you. [2] X Research source Common values and interests are the things that will truly bond you two, so focus on that.
He is more likely to see you as a long-term partner when you confidently know your worth, share vulnerabilities, have aspirations in life, possess great listening skills, etc. You can also talk about sports, movies, music, politics – whatever. Just engage him in a conversation so you can learn more about him. Make sure you own your self-worth and show you live a fulfilling life. Confidence is one of the most desired traits a man will seek in a partner, as they are attracted to someone who will compliment their lifestyle.
If he starts reciprocating with likes and comments, it is a very good sign for you. At this point, you should pull back a little bit so that he will start wondering where you are and why you haven’t been liking as many of his posts. Give him an occasional like every now and then, but be very cautious about overdoing it.
Be logical: would you at all have a sentimental interest in someone whose existence you are only marginally aware of? Well, that’s the way he feels about you at the moment. Repeated exposure to you will increase his feelings for you. If he was attracted to you initially, the attraction will only increase the more he encounters you. [5] X Research source Some good ways to spend more time around him are to start frequenting his local venues (bars, restaurants, book stores, etc. ) or to try to get invited to some of the same social events as him.
And remember that everyone loves a great smile. So remember to flash him a grin when you see him. [7] X Research source
If your two circles of friends don’t cross, don’t lose hope! Be strategical. If you see him alone at lunch, invite him to join you at your table. If you see him in the corridors, try having a conversation with him.
Don’t turn into a stalker, but be open and friendly. The feeling you must convey is of interest. That way, he’ll feel comfortable if he wants to get to know you a little bit more. Some good behaviors to avoid are showing up where you know he’ll be too often, calling or texting him repeatedly, liking or commenting on everything he does on his social media accounts, or visiting his place of employment too often. Remember: you can’t force time. He’ll come your way if you maintain those dispositions of friendly interest.
Moreover, becoming friends will help to see how much common ground you have. If you go on being warm, friendly, and interesting (which you undoubtedly are) you’ll become friends in the most natural way possible. Remember: how did you befriend all those people you’re surrounded by? Well, if it worked for them, it’ll work for him too!
For example, if you don’t share your feelings easily, try telling him things like, “Well, I feel a bit blue today. " Or if you talked about some kind of sweet he liked, try to bring him a piece of it (and one for yourself, too).
Don’t make it too obvious. If we take the first example again, don’t tell him, “OMG I feel so depressed. I’m so sad, it’s awful,” because you would scare him: he wouldn’t understand why, suddenly, you began talking that much about yourself. Everything must be natural. A bit odd, perhaps, but never forced. Try telling him a story first (when it is just the two of you) that you plan on telling your other friends later. It will make him feel special to know he heard it before the others. Or try touching him just a little bit more than you touch other people. You could touch his arm while you are talking to him or give him a hug when you see him.
You can feel comfortable telling other people (including your friends) only if they don’t have even the remotest chance of meeting him or if one of the steps described here cannot physically be achieved without their collaboration. But otherwise, you’re on your own on this one.
Tell him things like “I miss/missed you,” “I saw/made/met. . . and I thought of you. "
Physical intimacy is essential: it will allow him to start questioning his feelings. But don’t go overboard; at this point, he’s still only your friend. Physical contact must therefore be occasional. Always have a plausible reason: tiredness, feeling blue, or needing a hug. Once again, it is essential not to scare him.
Don’t respond to his texts immediately. Don’t answer the phone every time he calls. Don’t be available every time he asks you out. Ignore him only a few times; the risks are if you ignore him too much, there will be trouble coming in the long run. The up side is his heart will be questioning whether you like him or not. Don’t seem available all the time after you’ve gone past your “friend stage. " This will make him miss you and wonder what is going on in your life. He will know he’s not the only subject on your schedule, leading him to care and love you more and more.
Drop hints like “I’d love to see this movie but, alas, all my friends have seen it already. " And if he still doesn’t ask you out, well. . . do it yourself. Gender roles are so last century.
