Your boss usually slams you with work last minute, just as you’re about to head off shift? If you usually grin and bear it, let some anger creep in. Your partner sometimes keeps you frozen out, being uncommunicative and cold? Don’t sweep it under the rug and make excuses. Get angry. Your friend talks about your other friends behind their backs, constantly tattling and spreading gossip? Don’t ignore bad behavior like this.
Don’t just look at words, look at actions. If someone talks over you constantly, or forgets your name, or decides to ignore you for some reason, assume ill intent.
Also, stay focused on other people’s advantages in the world. If someone went to a college you’d never be able to afford, use that to explain their success, instead of their skill. Stay focused on what other people have that you do not have.
Cue up an investigative documentary online for a quick fix of global fury. Some classics include “The Act of Killing” or “Thin Blue Line. "
If you yell while you’re angry, make the goal of not raising your voice when you feel angry. Learn to communicate without shouting as a goal. [2] X Expert Source Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWCertified AEDP Psychotherapist & Emotions Educator Expert Interview. 8 September 2021. If you bottle up your anger and suddenly release it at seemingly little things, make your goal processing the things that make you angry before they turn into rage somewhere down the road. However your anger manifests itself, the most unhealthy thing that you can do is become violent with yourself or with others. [3] X Expert Source Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWCertified AEDP Psychotherapist & Emotions Educator Expert Interview. 8 September 2021. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to punch things, break things, or hit anyone.
Dig slightly below the surface. [4] X Expert Source Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSWCertified AEDP Psychotherapist & Emotions Educator Expert Interview. 8 September 2021. If you say that “your boss” sometimes makes you angry, try an think about when, where, and why that’s the case. What does your boss emphasize that makes you feel angry? Try to understand what happens. Be as honest as possible. If you’re feeling angry because you’re embarrassed that your boss called you out in front of the other employees, was it warranted? Did you screw up and deserve it, or was it totally out of the blue?
90 miles per hour and above: boiling, explosive, violent 70-85: fuming, outraged, infuriated, enraged 50-65 miles per hour : bitter, indignant , pissed off , mad, angry 30-45 : agitated, perturbed , annoyed, irritated, frustrated Below 30: calm and cool, peaceful, tranquil
When your anger gets above the normal speed limits, you’re going to need progressively more time to decompress and process that anger. Learn to assign a value to your anger, then prepare to process it, and start doing so immediately.
“I’m fine, I just need to get some air. " “I’m going for a walk, I’m ok, I’ll be right back. " “I’m a little frustrated, so I’m going to go outside for a minute. Everything’s fine. "
This might seem corny, but visualize your anger as a black, goopy substance that you breathe out every time you exhale. As you hold your breath, feel it building up and feel the relief as you let it move out of your body.
Head back into the meeting and tell your boss privately why you felt singled out unfairly. Ask what you can do to avoid this situation next time. Use a calm, even tone.
If you get angry that another employee constantly gets complimented while you are ignored, put that angry energy into doing more and better work next week. Do so much work you’ll have to get noticed. If you get angry at something more difficult to identify or understand, like feelings of frustration with your relationship, you’ll need to focus on communicating your feelings and discussing them with the parties involved. It might take making a big change, like breaking up, if you feel like you’re in an unchangeable situation.
Clean the kitchen Organize your garage Do homework Bake something delicious Hit the heavy bag at the gym Write
Play basketball Try boxing Go jogging Try circuit training
High levels of stress and anger come with higher rates of heart disease, cholesterol levels, diabetes, immune system problems, insomnia, and high blood pressure. People who suffer from frequent outbursts of anger often report clouded thinking, difficulty concentrating, and higher instances of depression.
