You may want to integrate the physical reminders of the relationship into a letting go ritual, where you process your emotions by throwing away the objects or leaving them somewhere far from your space. This can act as a symbolic act and help you move forward from the relationship.
You may think that by talking to your ex you can get closure on the relationship. But often, speaking to your ex or spending time with your ex will only lead to more confused and hurt feelings. Detaching from your ex emotionally will likely mean spending time away from that person so you can focus on your needs.
You may also ask your ex to give you space and agree to not have direct contact with you for a period of several months. Giving each other space can really help with closure. You may say, “I think it might be best for us to not talk to each other and give each other some space. Would you be okay with setting a boundary where we do not contact each other for a few months?”
Once you have finished the letter, you can even put it in an envelope and seal it. Then, place it in a drawer or in a safe place for a time when you will be ready to read it without getting upset or angry. The act of writing the letter will be more important than actually sending the letter to your ex. This simple act can help you to gain a better sense of closure.
It can also help to bury an object that represents the past relationship as a way of letting go. This could be a photograph of you and your ex or an object that has sentimental value to both of you. You should dig a hole and physically bury the object as a ritual to symbolize closure.
Do at least one self care act a day, such as taking a long bath, making yourself a healthy breakfast, or going for a run in your favorite area. Self care can also remind you of the important things in your life and the value of taking time to focus on yourself. Nurturing yourself can be a good way to take your mind off the break up and work towards closure.
This may mean having weekly check ins with a close friend where you talk about how you are feeling and any emotions you are struggling with. You may also make it a habit to visit your parents on the weekends as a way to get outside of your emotions and connect with those close to you.
A good therapist will listen and support you. She should also help you develop coping mechanisms for your emotional needs and work with you to gain a sense of closure on your past relationship.
Your personal goals list should be specific and manageable. You may set fitness goals, like losing a certain amount of weight or eating at least four home cooked meals a week, and you may set grander goals with trying new things in mind, such as going on a hike for the first time or learning to play a musical instrument.
You may seek out new people by joining a recreational sports team or a club. You may also meet new people by taking up a new hobby or by joining a social club.
