Research shows that heartache can present in the brain like an actual pain. Studies show heartbroken respondents’ brains resemble that of a person on cocaine withdrawal. However, it seems the best route to overcome heartbreak is to ride the emotions out. [1] X Research source Denial accomplishes nothing. Bad feelings do not go away just because you ignore them. If anything, ignoring your feelings only increases the risk of having them explode later on. If you are the sort of person who needs physical release, consider heading to a gym and taking your grief out on a punching bag or human dummy.

Anger is a secondary emotion. The emotions lurking beneath the surface of your anger might be feeling ignored, disappointed, used, unlovable, and rejected. All of these feelings make you feel vulnerable so you use anger as a method of psychological self-soothing. [2] X Research source To find out what’s beneath your anger, listen to your self-talk. If you find yourself thinking, “No one will ever love me”, it may symbolize feelings of rejection or being unlovable. Take notice of your thoughts for a day to pinpoint what other emotions you are experiencing. Additionally, anger tends to be obsessive. If you badmouth your ex or crush to your friends or fixate on every little thing that person did to “wrong” you, your thoughts are still constantly filled with that person. In other words, anger will bind you in place instead of letting you move on.

People frequently crave comfort foods when they are not feeling so great. Research shows that mindful indulgences are usually harmless as long as you are not overindulging or neglecting your health. [3] X Research source That said, you should set limits for yourself. If you get yourself into debt, end up hoarding a houseful of junk, or gain 40 pounds, you will only feel more miserable than before. Indulge yourself, but stick to your means and avoid unhealthy behaviors that are destructive rather than nurturing.

Listening to music is scientifically known to have therapeutic effects. It can lower your heart rate and relieve stress. [5] X Research source

Oftentimes, this feeling of numbness results from pure exhaustion. Crying and other forms of high-energy emotion can be mentally and physically draining. As a result, after you finish with these cycles of emotion, you can feel too tired to feel anything else.

A friend who can give you advice might be a good person to talk to, but any friend willing to listen should be able to help a little. Venting your emotions can be just as important as fixing the matter at hand.

You can also use your journal to confess to feelings or events you do not feel brave enough to confess to other people.

Set a date or general time frame beforehand. Give yourself about half the amount of time you spent in a relationship with your ex or pining after your crush. During this time, mope as much as you need. Afterward, push yourself forward, even if you still feel like moping.

Of course, this can be difficult if you work with or have class with the other person. In this case, the best thing you can do is to limit your interactions to those which are only absolutely essential to your daily life. You do not need to go out of your way to avoid the person you want to get over, but you should not purposefully seek that person out either.

If you cannot resist the temptation to stalk your obsession’s social media accounts while still remaining friends or followers, unfriend or unfollow the person in question. If that person once gave you access to his or her passwords, kindly ask that person to change passwords in order to remove the temptation from you to snoop or stalk.

Do not sleep with an ex “for old times’ sake” or fall into the trap of becoming “friends with benefits” with a crush. Literally “getting over” someone you want to get over is a bad idea for both sexes, but it can be especially awful for women. Physical intimacy causes women to produce oxytocin, a hormone that triggers feelings of connection and affection. [9] X Research source As a result, you will not be able to “get it out of your system. ” If anything,you will only feel more bonded to the other person than before. Emotional intimacy can be just as risky, even if the two of you were emotionally intimate before. This sort of connection runs on a deeper level, making it even harder to separate yourself from the person in question.

Usually, the best thing to do is to pack up any reminders and put them away until you have had enough chance to move on. You could also return certain belongings to the other person - CDs, movies, etc.

  • instead of ditching them. You should actually avoid throwing things out or dramatically setting fire to these painful reminders in an effort to free yourself, no matter how desperate you are to get over someone. [10] X Research source Once something is gone, it’s gone for good. If you regret the decision to throw out that expensive watch or burn up a poster autographed by a favorite singer you saw in concert with your ex, you might regret it later.

Do not push yourself to reconcile. If you cannot get over the hurt and reconciling makes things too difficult, you do not need to go through with it. Only begin the process after you have already accepted the way things are and no longer have any romantic attachment to the person in question. Relationship experts suggest that you allow the grieving process to commence and take time away from one another. Then, sit down and have a candid conversation about how your friendship will work. [11] X Research source Limit your efforts. Extend the hand of friendship once. If it gets slapped away, accept that reconciliation is out of the question, and move on.

Get active. Physical activity is one of the best things you can become engaged in while making an effort to get over someone. In contrast, lazing around on the couch day after day can make you feel resentful of yourself.

Your friends might appreciate this, too, especially if you spent a lot of time neglecting them while in your relationship or chasing after your crush. Avoid letting your friends push you into new romances before you feel ready, though.

New friends work just as well as new love interests. If anything, sometimes, new friends can be even better since it relieves the pressure of romantic tension and allows you to avoid the dreaded rebound.

Take time to do things you enjoy, especially if you did fewer of these things while you were with your ex or trying to impress your crush. Avoid shouldering all the blame. Understand that things just were not meant to be. It doesn’t mean that it was your fault or that you are somehow unworthy of being loved.

Pushing yourself into a rebound relationship or one night stand may only make you feel worse, especially when you realize that you gave away that sort of intimacy to someone you really were not all that fond of.