Resist the urge to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. While they might seem to provide some relief, they might make it more difficult to recover in the long run. Healthy habits will be more effective at letting you move on with your life. [2] X Research source
Try to sleep in a cool, dark place. Avoid bright screens before bedtime. Establish bedtime rituals, such as reading a book or listening to a soothing song before bed. Avoid caffeine and alcohol in the evenings. If your loved one slept in your bed with you, consider sleeping on their side of the bed for a while. You will feel connected with them and will be less likely to be startled that their side of the bed is empty. [6] X Research source
If you feel like you cannot move on because everything in your home reminds you of your loved one, consider rearranging the furniture. If you watched a television program with your loved one, try to find a new friend to watch the program with you. If a particular street corner is a painful reminder of your loved one, find a different walking route. Remember that you can return to your old activities once your grief has subsided. You are not forgetting your loved one. Instead, you are allowing yourself to move on. This will allow your memories of your loved one to bring you joy instead of crippling sadness.
Ask if you can have a lighter schedule at first. It is possible that you will not return to full work duties right away. Perhaps you will be able to work part-time or have reduced duties for a while. Talk to your office about accommodations they can make. [8] X Research source Communicate with your work about your needs. If you do not wish to talk about your loved one at work, you can request that your coworkers avoid the topic. If you wish to talk about your loved one at work, a grief counselor might be able to teach your colleagues about appropriate ways to discuss such a sensitive issue. [9] X Research source
Note that you might not go through these stages in the typical order. Sometimes grieving people repeat steps, remain in one step for a long time, experience multiple steps all at once, or go through the stages in a completely different order. Sometimes the bereaved are able to move on very quickly with their lives without going through the steps at all. [15] X Research source Remember that each individual grieves differently. But identifying the stages of grief can still help you understand your experience. [16] X Research source
If you have been preparing for your loved one’s death for a long time, you might not experience denial or disbelief. For example, if your loved one experienced a lengthy terminal illness, you might have processed your disbelief before their death. [19] X Research source Immediately after your loved one dies, you might feel numb. You might also not be able to believe that your loved one is really gone. [20] X Research source These feelings are more common in those who are grieving the loss of someone who died suddenly. [21] X Research source
While some grief and sadness is normal for many years after a loss, these feelings of sadness should not keep you from leading a normal life. If you are unable to function because of your grief–even years after a loss–you might want to consider grief counseling or therapy. These sad feelings might always be a part of your life, but they should not be the dominant force in your life.
Feel free to be specific about what you ask for. If you have no food in the fridge, ask your friend to bring over some take-out. If you cannot muster the energy to drive your children to school, ask a neighbor to pitch in. You will be surprised by how many people will step up to support you. Don’t be embarrassed by your mourning. You might find yourself crying unexpectedly, telling the same stories over and over, or processing your anger in front of others. Don’t feel ashamed of these behaviors: they are normal, and your loved ones will understand. [27] X Research source
If you are a religious or spiritual person, consider contacting a religious organization for guidance. Many spiritual leaders have experience counseling the bereaved, and you can gain solace from their wisdom.
Touching an object owned by your loved one every time you feel sad. Sitting on your loved one’s favorite park bench once a week. Listening to your loved one’s favorite album when you cook a meal. Saying good-night to your loved one before bed each night.
If you feel overwhelmed by the thought of keeping a journal, set a structure for yourself. For example, write for 10 minutes each day, use guided prompts to organize your thoughts, or start off by writing lists instead of full sentences.
